Taekwondo

So here's the thing. I'm taking Taekwondo and I have Fibromyalgia.  Most people who know these two things think that I am completely crazy and maybe I am. But I don't care. This is why.

For one when I exercise I feel better.  I've never been a runner and I can't do water aerobics when I'm at school (I LOVE water aerobics) and for some reason I've always wanted to take a martial art.  To be honest I feel a little safer now that I understand a little of how to defend myself. But here's the real reason I don't care if I get kicked or punched.

Some pain is worth it. It was worth feeling like my head was going to explode to see my mother sing in her college choir, it's worth falling over when being tickled because you're creating a bond with someone. It's worth getting kicked and hit in Taekwondo because when I do it, I feel like I can do anything.

This summer I went back to Wild Waves, the place I was the day before the migraines started.  Maybe it was the place it all began. I could only go on my favorite ride once, it hurt too much, but I went on it. I faced my fear. With Taekwondo I can jump, kick, spin around and most of the time land on my feet. I can now kick as high as my Dad's shoulder.  Yes, it hurts sometimes. Sometimes it hurts a lot, but the discipline, the accomplishment of passing my first belt test and the confidence makes it worth it.

Yesterday when we were sparring, I was sparring Lydia, who is a brown belt (which means she is faaaaarr ahead of me) and she was telling me that she could see the excitement come alive in my eyes as we were sparring.

Sometimes pain is worth it.

My Song

This song has been an encouragement to me through tough times over and over again. Every time I'm in a tight spot and I hear it it's like hearing it for the first time.

I thought I did what's right
I thought I had the answers
I thought I chose the surest road
But that road brought me here
So I put up a fight
And told you how to help me
Now just when I have given up
The truth is coming clear

Chorus 1:
You know better than I
You know the way
I've let go the need to know why
For You know better than I

If this has been a test
I cannot see the reason
But maybe knowing
I don't know is part of getting through
I tried to do what's best
But faith has made it easy
To see the best thing i can do
Is to put my trust in You.

Chorus 2
For, You know better than I
You know the way
I've let go the need to know why
For You know better than I

Coda:
I saw one cloud and thought it was a sky
I saw a bird and thought that I could follow
But it was You who taught that bird to fly
If i let You reach me
Will You teach me.
(Repeat Chorus )

For, You know better than I
You know the way
I've let go the need to know why
I'll take what answers you supply
You know better than I