I cannot decide whether or not trusting people is worth it.
There are so few people who once they understand all of my angles who actually want to stick around. So many people have decided that I'm crazy and not worth it.
Time for walls.
Having walked down this path for the last year with my walls up, I can tell you it's not worth it. That's not to say you should trust no bars held, but don't cut every one off. Your heart knows the people that are good for you.
That's the trouble with me. I can never tell who's good for me and not. I'm better now than I used to be, I guess, but who knows.
The really cool thing is, tonight we were doing music worship at work, I'm an intern at Celebrate Recovery and I was asking God why I'm this way. Mum says I've gotten hurt because I'm caring and put energy into the whole thing a lot. This makes me vulnerable. And I was asking God why it had to be so easy to get hurt and He simply told me that He made me this way for a reason. I'm not sure why but that has given me a great deal of peace. I won't automatically trust every Tom, Dick and Harry (and definitely not someone who nicknames someone Ugly-Face-Annoying-Voice, why on earth did I trust him?) but maybe something good will come out of this whole thing.
Having walked down this path for the last year with my walls up, I can tell you it's not worth it. That's not to say you should trust no bars held, but don't cut every one off. Your heart knows the people that are good for you.
ReplyDeleteThat's the trouble with me. I can never tell who's good for me and not. I'm better now than I used to be, I guess, but who knows.
ReplyDeleteThe really cool thing is, tonight we were doing music worship at work, I'm an intern at Celebrate Recovery and I was asking God why I'm this way. Mum says I've gotten hurt because I'm caring and put energy into the whole thing a lot. This makes me vulnerable. And I was asking God why it had to be so easy to get hurt and He simply told me that He made me this way for a reason. I'm not sure why but that has given me a great deal of peace. I won't automatically trust every Tom, Dick and Harry (and definitely not someone who nicknames someone Ugly-Face-Annoying-Voice, why on earth did I trust him?) but maybe something good will come out of this whole thing.